Tuesday, 23 June 2009

• Literary FML Part II

  Does this remind you a little bit of Battle of the Books? In fact it reminds me a lot of Battle of the Books. Man, I rocked that competition so hard in middle school.
  
  Guess the book and character these are from. When you guess, post the number, then the book, then the character. Correct book guesses will be bolded, correct character guesses will be italicized.
  
  

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  1. Today, I accidentally killed a guy. Then, my best friend died in a fire. Then, my other best friend was shot down by cops. FML (The Outsiders, Ponyboy)
     
  2. Today, I was forced to sit in a room that I believe is haunted for four straight hours without food or warmth. FML (Jane Eyre, Jane Eyre)
     
  3. Today, my father was killed by my uncle, who then married my mother and exiled me to a foreign country where the only people I knew were two douchebags with funny names. FML (Hamlet, Hamlet)
     
  4. Today, we decided to randomly kill some white guys. We outnumbered them and killed them easily, especially since they were sleeping. Then a big dog came by and killed all of us without even trying. FML (Call of the Wild, Native Americans)
     
  5. Today, I have been subsiding on onions for days. I smell so bad that I can't even tell how bad I smell. Then I fell into a pit of poisonous lizards. FML (Holes, Stanley Yelnats)
     
  6. Today, a witch raped me. Then, I was captured by a cyclops who ate all my men. FML (Odyssey, Odysseus)
     
  7. Today, I found out that my only source of income is actually a convicted criminal. I tried to prevent his recapture, but he died despite my efforts. I got really sick and lost all of my money and then I heard that the girl I've loved since childhood is married to an abusive husband. FML (Great Expectations, Pip)
     
  8. Today, after living for several hundred years in the pipe connected to a bathroom, a small bird stabbed my eyes out, then a little boy stabbed my throat out. FML (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, basilisk)
     
  9. Today, my father, fiancee, and future mother-in-law died. Then my fiancee turned out to be one of the undead. FML
  10. Today, I witnessed a scientific phenomenon so strange and unsettling that I freaked out and died within days. FML (The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Dr Lanyon)
      
  11. Today, the sweetest girl I have ever known died. Her father promised to do me a great favor that the girl would have loved. However, he was stabbed to death before he could carry out the favor. His sister refused to do it in his stead. FML
  12. Today, the hottest woman in Paris married me out of pity, but then she refused to let me touch her at all. She doesn't even like me. I'm that pitiable. FML
  13. Today, I masturbated to a herd of sheep. FML
  14. Today, my entire civilization except for me recently died of starvation. Then I found a huge pile of fried eggs. I died of cholesterol poisoning. FML

  
  

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  Part I is still incomplete! Take a stab at the remaining ones!
  
  Jae told me the character guesses through IM.
  

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