Tuesday, 23 June 2009

  • Literary FML Part I

    I am addicted to FML. I am also addicted to reading. I thought that I might as well put the two together. Originally I was going to list the book and character before the FML, but Dave thought it would be more fun if people guessed. So... guess the book and character these are from! Some of them will be pretty obvious, others will not be. I'll try to stick to classics or really popular books.

    When you guess, post the number, then the book, then the character. Correct book guesses will be bolded, correct character guesses will be italicized.


    1. Today, our very old and developed civilization was entirely wiped out by a prepubescent human who thought he was playing a video game. FML (Ender's Game, the buggers)
    2. Today, I had to dress up as a giant ham for a school play. Then, on the way home, I was almost stabbed. My brother broke his arm defending me. FML (To Kill a Mockingbird, Scout)
    3. Today, I found out that my husband has been canoodling with another man. We have been married for eight years and we have two kids. FML
    4. Today, I thought I had struck a great business deal with a foreign nobleman who wanted to buy a house in England. It turned out he is a vampire. He kept me imprisoned for a month, came to England, and attacked my wife. FML (Dracula, Jonathan)
    5. Today, the only woman I have ever seriously pursued turned me down and called me names. The names are accurate. FML (Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Darcy)
    6. Today, I died. Nobody noticed. I created all of existence. FML (Amber Spyglass, God)
    7. Today, I scared my father with how ugly and gruesome I was. FML (Frankenstein, Frankenstein's monster)
    8. Today, I was put in prison for life without a trial because an ambitious politician was blackmailed by my jealous cousin. FML (Count of Monte Cristo)
    9. Today, my son killed my cousin/new bride, after killing my best friend, strangling my brother, and framing my faithful servant of murder. FML
    10. Today, I ran into a windmill. I thought it was an evil giant. FML (Don Quixote, Don Quixote)
    11. Today, I killed my father and fucked my mother. Then I stabbed my eyes out when I found out. FML (Oedipus Rex, Oedipus)
    12. Today, we are losing the battle. Then I found out my wife killed herself by eating live coals. I never wanted to fight this war in the first place, but I was forced to initiate the events. FML (Julius Caesar, Brutus)
    13. Today, the whole world went blind except for me. Only I get to see to what depravities people will sink when they think nobody is watching. FML (Blindness)
    14. Today, I set my house on fire trying to kill my husband. Then I jumped out a window and died. My husband lived. FML (Jane Eyre, Bertha)



    More to come later! This post was getting really long and I hadn't even covered 1/8 of the books that I wanted to. Buahahaha I have more of these.

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